The Trip Home
by Optoer
Summary: Meryl and Snake had a tough trip home. Let's see they're antics. Mild language and some sexual humor.More chapters coming soon. Spoilers for MGS1. Chapter 2 now up.
1. The tent err Corpse

I do not own Metal gear solid or any of the characters and or games

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Backstory: Since the Shadow moses incident, Snake took a long time to get back to the base.  
This is what had happened on the way back. Meryl and snake were on the snowbike.

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Chapter 1

"Hey snake... How did you survive the torture?" "It's all in the balls" Explained snake. "O...k."Meryl said raising one eyebrow"Did you get tortured?" Snake asked. "No I was out." Meryl said with a sad face. "Ha well then you wouldn't know would you?" Snake laughed."It sounded painful.""you heard me?" Snake asked"Yea you were screaming for your mom and everything." said with a smile."Oh that well umm you see." snake stuttered"so where were you anyway. You couldn't have been on top of metal gear that long.""Oh no I was... uhhhh well." Meryl said thinking  
"you dont know do you?" Said with disappointed look"..no" Meryl said."so how long until we get there?" Meryl asked."about like a day or two." Explained snake.  
"You can't be serious." Meryl said surprised.  
"I am, we can stop here." Snake looked over at a pack of caribou.  
Snake pulled over near some caribou  
"Don't tempt me snake."  
"I still have a gun" Snake said as he pulled one out.  
"You got a knife?"  
"yea" said snake. "Then let's eat!" Exclaimed Meryl.  
Snake went near the caribou and shot one in the head.  
Snake cut open the caribou.  
"o.k... now we should find wood." Snake said looking around.  
"Theres not a tree for miles!" Meryl yelled.  
"your right." Snake said as he turned to Meryl  
"wait"  
"what?" Asked Meryl  
Snake pulled out a rocket launcher  
"HOLY CRAP WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" Meryl said scared.  
"I'd cover your ears if I were you."  
Snake blew up the caribou. Snake takes a bite of the meat.  
"Yup It's cooked."  
"WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?" Meryl yelled  
"well we need to eat."  
"you still have that ketchup?" Meryl asked  
"Yea I do." Snake said giving the ketchup to Meryl  
"give me it." Meryl said grabbing it.  
Meryl sqeezed the ketchup bottle.  
"It's empty" Meryl said. "yea I kinda used it to escape." Snake said with a smirk.  
"I hate you sometimes." Meryl said  
"WHAT!?" snake asked.  
They ate the caribou  
"where sould we sleep?" Asked Meryl.  
Snake looked at the caribou corpse.  
"OH HELL NO!" Meryl screamed.  
"Oh hell yes" Snake said smiling.  
Snake crawled into the corpse.  
"mmm cozy." Snake said looking comfortable  
"eeeeeww." Meryl said in disgust.  
"Theres always the alternative." snake said unzipping his pants.  
"NO! NO!" Meryl yelled.  
Meryl crawled into the corpse quickly  
"Scoot over your hogging it." Meryl said uncomfortably.  
"Then go in the back." Snake said opening one eye  
"No way you go in the back!" Meryl said.  
"Tsk wuss" Snake muttered moving to the back.  
"What'd you say?" Meryl said.  
"Nothing" Snake said. They began to dose off.  
End of Chapter 1


	2. Johnny Sasaki

Chapter 2

Halfway through the night Snake is awakened by a noise.  
"Meryl wake up!" Snake said shaking Meryl.  
"nng no mommy no more noodle soup for me..." Meryl muttered.  
"What the hell? MERYL!" Snake said trying to wake up Meryl.  
Meryl woke up. "What is it Snake?" " I heard something from outside the tent err umm corpse. "It's probably just another bunny Snake." "Didn't sound like a bunny." Snake said. "Meryl I'm going to go check it out." Snake grabbed his gun and crawled over Meryl.Snake walked out into the snow. He looked around and saw a moving object. It was rectangular and had seemed to have legs coming out. He went over. It was just a box. "Hm just a box... Whoa never thought I'd say that..." The box rustled. Then the box flew up. He saw a remaining soldier. "ACHOO!" The soldier sneezed. " Holy crap aren't you my guard from the torture cell?" Snake asked. "Yes yes I am." The guard said. "How did you survive?" "This box." "The hell How did you succeed in that." "It's Magical." "I'm not retarded jerk." Snake said. "I'm not exactly achoo sure." "ugh" Snake shrugged. "Can I come with you?" "Sure I guess. But I'll have to shoot you..." "What? Why the hell are you gonna do that?" "To wake up Meryl... and partly for fun." "Why don't yopu just shoot near me?" "Cause that's no fun." Snake shot the guard in the leg. "HOLY CRAP!" Yelled Meryl. "See?" " You little AUGH I'LL KILL YOU!" The guard yelled. "Holy crap ocelot?" "No Meryl It's just a guard from shadow." "O.k. that's better." "Hey your the person who stole my suit!" "Johnny?" "Who the hell is johnny" "umm me" "He's where I got the suit." Said Meryl. "Well he's joining us... once we get him medical help." "There's a medical kit on the back of the snow bike. Wait snake did you shoot him?" "Yes he did for fun..." "SNAAAAAAAAKE!" "I'll go get that Medical kit." Snake said as he ran towards the bike.  
End Chapter 2. 


End file.
